I was going to write about answering customer comments for quite some time now, expanding on Olga's previous article about customer's complaints. But somehow, inspiration wasn’t there.
And I didn’t want to just dump points from the brand voice guides we developed, summarizing tips regarding comments.
But then the universe finally heard me — thank you, a nameless apartment administrator from Booking who answered my messages last week. So, here goes the story.
I was on a long weekend with my kids in Tallinn and rented an apartment through Booking. They took a deposit of 150 EUR, promising to refund it within 8-12 days if, after we checked out, they found the apartment was not damaged in any way.
My 6-year-old twins are a force of nature, but we’re experienced travelers, and we left the place immaculate.
On the 11th day (yes, I know the difference between 11 and 12 days) after check-out, realizing the money was still not in my account, I messaged the apartment administrator:
“Hello! I still didn’t receive the deposit back. Why would it take so long?”
After that, I immediately got the money in my account (could be a coincidence), and it might have been the end of the story.. if the person on the other side hadn’t decided to reply, triggering this interaction:
- Admin: Hi. As written in our instructions sent to you on reservation day, 8-12 days after check-out are needed. I also see that the deposit has been refunded.
- Me: Yes, after I sent the message, it was refunded. Thanks.
- Admin: Yes, but the due date was until 31.11 (12 days after check-out). So, the money came on time.
How Did It Go That Far?
It’s a classic situation. Let’s analyze what happened.
I was one day too early to ask about the refund and to “somewhat criticize” their service, so the administrator felt irritated and defensive. And it came through in their responses.
I wasn’t exactly 100% courteous in my choice of words either (although I wasn’t awful). This likely amplified the administrator’s reaction.
The result? I’m quite sure I’ll never stay in their apartment ever again. Although it was nice, and price/quality ratio was great. I also still hasn’t left any review and am not sure I will.
Start With Empathy
No matter how a negative comment hurts your feelings, answer should start with empathy. Yes, that’s basically the job — to make your response sound and feel emphatic.
Because most likely the client reached out to you feeling pain.
Maybe, for some reason, they desperately needed that 150 EUR refunded. Maybe they miscalculated the timeline and felt cheated.
Whatever the reason, the first step is to recognize that their message stems from pain (and not necessarily from them being an utterly unpleasant person).
Let’s consider another (real life) example.
An e-commerce brand makes and sells great products, delivering them worldwide through various couriers.
When the product is handed over to a courier, it’s technically out of the company’s hands — they’ve fulfilled their obligations, and this is made clear in their communication.
However, many customers, when they don’t receive their product, turn to the producer, not the courier. The brand then receives comments like this on their social media channels:
I’ve never received my product, and no one from your support team has answered me, even though I’ve written multiple times. WHERE IS MY PACKAGE?! You just take money from people and don’t deliver anything.
Yes, it feels unfair. Yes, it seems like the client could have invested that time into contacting the courier directly. But the reality is, that’s not what happened. And the pain is there.
So, How Should We Go About Negative Comments?
Managing negative reviews isn’t just about damage control. It’s about building relationships.
Here’s how to do it:
- Greet the person and call them by their name.
- Apologize for the situation and the discomfort it caused. This helps the client feel understood, which is what they need at that moment.
- Probe the issue by gathering all relevant details.
- Follow up — respond to the customer in both public and private forums. Personalize your private message rather than relying on a template.
Keep your tone empathetic, respectful, and professional.
Emphasize the positive change and demonstrate your full commitment to helping, but avoid making promises you cannot keep.
What about provocations?
When a negative comment is formulated in a way that often looks like an opinion, or in a form of a provocative question, let’s remember that such comment still often comes from a place of pain and regret.
Why is your product so freaking expensive? (read = why cannot I afford it?)
Your product doesn’t have X feature like the other product does, and it also is ugly. How do you manage to sell at all? (read = I wish I could try your product and see what the fuss and excitement is about, but I am stuck with this alternative)
Here the main task (apart from firmly staying in the empathy mode) is to radiate confidence.
Your brand is confident about:
a) the product’s quality b) its deserving price b) all its qualities.
So,
Never make excuses for your product’s price.
Explain the value it delivers without becoming defensive.
If a comment verges on being offensive or is rude, you may delete it. But make sure to explain there and then why it was deleted and clarify the community rules.
Depending on the context, you can simply reply with a thank-you for the feedback, avoiding an argument.
If you have a longer article addressing the issue, share the link and say something like, “We recently explained this in detail here.”
Is It Ok To Delete Comments?
Can rude and offensive comments be deleted? Absolutely yes — in my book.
If a comment verges on being offensive or is rude, you may delete it. But make sure to explain there and then why it was deleted and clarify the community rules.
Responding By Not Responding At All
Sometimes a brand is too premium to answer.
Often, exclusive brands (we're talking LV-type exclusive) choose to ignore comments involving irony or questions about price. Their response is essentially delivered by not responding at all.
Confident, exclusive brands don’t engage in discussions about price because they consider themselves above it.
Premium and exclusive brands are not for everyone — they were never intended to be.
Ignoring some comments also implies that the people starting such conversations simply don’t belong.
Responding To Negative Comments May Be Draining — Train Your Team
Usually, writers and community managers (especially in B2C and e-commerce) become extremely frustrated when answering endless negative comments or baseless accusations on social media.
It’s undeniably challenging to deal with such negativity.
Here are a few things that can help:
- Organize a workshop on responding to negative comments, and have your team work in pairs.
One person acts as the toxic commenter, while the other practices responding to those comments (this exercise should be done orally, with participants standing and looking each other in the eyes).
You won’t believe the stress relief it offers to those who deal with toxicity daily, as they get a chance to play the role of the toxic person themselves.
Participants will realize that being a toxic commenter is not as easy as it seems — it actually takes a significant amount of energy.
While they can think of an initial negative message and maybe a follow-up to the company’s response, coming up with a third one often becomes challenging—the “steam” runs out.
When participants better understand these dynamics, it becomes easier for them to not take negativity so personally and to respond from a place of empathy.
They will start feeling better straight away.
- Compile a list of toxic comments your company received over the past year. Read them aloud and brainstorm about the potential pain points behind those messages.
Understanding what caused that negativity can help the team adopt a more empathetic tone when addressing it.
- Build your team's confidence
Sometimes, especially when you’re just starting out, confidence in your brand isn’t there yet.
Ask your team to select a brand they admire and practice handling negative comments as though the comments were directed at that brand.
Take note of when they feel more confident about their approach (be it deciding to ignore the comment, or responding with an emoji or a simple “Thank you for the feedback”). Ask them to use their newfound confidence when responding to customers’ comments.
Happy commenting! Find your confidence, talk and act with empathy and handling negative comments will become a rightful part of communication and learning from your customers.
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